Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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