and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
May the power of my ass compel you!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
