I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My vagina just recognized that song.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
