last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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