I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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