You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
