News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
