Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
