I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize