have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize