porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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