I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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