Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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