i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
