Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
