At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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