Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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