Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
His nipple licking is glorious
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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