Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
