i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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