So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
