Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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