Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
