playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
