I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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