so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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