His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
