im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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