I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
