its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
