i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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