u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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