Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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