gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
