In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dicks are not precious.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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