i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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