Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller