woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.