that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?