when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
