He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize