2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
