i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize