Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
