that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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