any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
