before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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