Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
