i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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