RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize