honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
