can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
this hospital has no fireball
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
