Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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