you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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