THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
