I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
