I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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