ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Don't make out with my wife yet
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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