Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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