She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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