i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
